I think we've all done this. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that even the person reading this has done it... yes, you! But, before you gasp in horror, close the window and refuse to read another one of my blogs... keep in mind my heart and the intent of this blog. So grab a coffee or your favorite drink and let's spend a few minutes together. Ready?
I have always compared myself to others, in fact, I often ask my husband to do it for me as well. "Does my work look as good as theirs?" "Compared to (that random object), am I that big or smaller?" Many times he refuses to even entertain my insecurities but there are a few times where he'll turn it into a joke-fest and just to get under my skin, he'll give the answer I was honestly hoping he wouldn't. You know, because it's funny.
There have been many days where I spend countless hours comparing myself to others. How they parent, how amazing their photography is, how big of a following they have on social media, the lifestyle they live, the home they've built, etc. I mean honestly, the list could go on and on and I would take up almost all of your day just telling you the things I look at and down myself for. It's seriously, probably borderline obsessive.
Over the past few weeks, I have taken the time to do something completely liberating to myself both mentally and physically. I have slowly but surely been unfollowing, unfriending, unliking anything and everything that I've spent countless hours dwelling on. I am on a journey to better myself, not in my craft, but how I love myself and the way I view myself. The only way I could do this was to remove the temptation. This also included anyone who was constantly negative, sharing drama-fueled posts or even those who were just all-around downers themselves.
I've found so much freedom in the unfollow. Seriously. Every so often, someone or something will pop up in my social media feeds that will bring back those little urges to say "I wish I were..." but that's when I take a moment to click the little button and free myself of those thoughts. It isn't easy, trust me when I say that and I honestly had a few days of feeling guilty for doing it, but when it comes to my personal well-being and the way I view myself, I had to think about what was most important.
You see, I have little ones and I know that no matter how much I TELL them how amazing they are and how they should love themselves - the truth is, they'll only learn for themselves and by watching their father and I. The way we carry ourselves and the way we speak over ourselves is so important in teaching our children how to do it. I had to understand and remember that this journey isn't just about me, but them as well.
I had to forgive myself for being so hard on myself, remove the temptation to repeat the behavior and as I write this, I am still in the process of learning to re-write my story and how I see myself, my craft and my being.
And please, do not mistake this blog as me saying to unfollow every person who's work you admire because trust me, there are many I still follow! I think it's healthy to have goals and to have people to look up to. However, when that admiration crosses over to unhealthy boundaries like it did for me, then it's time to let go and remember that ultimately, this is YOUR journey.
So friends, whether you're a business owner, a wife, a husband, a parent or just simply YOU... take a few moments and unfollow whatever it is that brings darkness into your light heart. I can't promise the journey won't be tough but I can promise that it's worth it. It's worth it when you aren't spending hours wishing you could be THAT parent, THAT photographer, THAT woman, etc.
Just be you. I promise, no one else could do it as well as you.
Happy Monday, friends!