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Comfort from Desperation - Personal

It's been known for quite some time that our family would move to Arizona in February 2016. We knew that this is where God was moving us and where our family could excel. I've trusted God through the planning stage of our move and had my heart set on February. However, if you're a follower of God, you know that things never happen on our time; but always God's time.

For a while now, people have said to me: "Girl, God is moving you out of VA sooner than you think!" or whenever something would happen that would hurt my heart, they would say "see, God is just moving you out faster than you think!" I took those things as they were - just words. I mean, yes, I trusted God when He said go to AZ but honestly, I never got confirmation on the date. Ever. It's just February was "safe" for me. It felt safe enough...

But the beauty of God is that He knows what's best for us.. even when those situations and circumstances make us desperate and uncomfortable.  Since deciding to move to either California or Arizona, Zeryk has kept an eye open for a position to come up in either of the two. Never did one come available. After saying "Ok, God!" to Arizona, our biggest question was if a job opening would come available. We decided that February would be safe enough because we could save enough money just in case Zeryk couldn't get transferred. We would have a safe amount of money with a backup plan to hold us over until he could find something. This was the plan.

On the 12th of this month, Zeryk called me with excitement and said that a position came available in Phoenix, AZ and that he was going to apply for it. He put in his application and made it very clear that he couldn't start until January or February of next year. He sent it through with confidence that he probably wouldn't hear anything from them for this position but possibly one around the time frame we had in mind.

I was changing Zayne when I heard Zeryk call out and say to me "Rosey... I got the job. I got the position!" I was confused for a moment and honestly, I forgot he even applied for anything! I said to him "huh? Shut up!" lol! Not in a mean way but, I was surprised. He played the voicemail for me... "This message is for Zeryk. We are calling to let you know that we are offering you the position in Phoenix, Arizona..." I didn't know what to think. I was overcome with emotion! It was real.. it was really real. This was what we asked God for! 

Zeryk called back and the entire time, he's looking at me with the "what do I do, Rosey?" look and without hesitation, I said "take it! Take the job, babe! We will figure it all out." He has 30 days to report to his new position and as soon as he hung up the phone, I was overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions. Can we make it work? Wait this means we have to spend time apart... How will we move everything? What happens from here? Did we jump on it too soon? 

But you know what - God is just so beautiful! He never promised me a date.. He just promised me that He would work it all out! And that's exactly what He did... Amen! 

So here we are.. we are planning, packing, saying goodbye to friends we have come to love so dearly. We are trying to avoid the sad emotions that come and go from the realization that as a result of him taking the job, it does give us less time to spend with those we love but also puts us apart for a little over 40 days. Due to my business and previously made contracts, I'm held behind in VA with our two little ones while Zeryk goes ahead of us to start his new position and set up shop for us to arrive.

I'm not going to lie to you.. I'm terrified! I am trusting God 100% but there are still small fears there and that's completely normal. I would be worried if there weren't any. In fact, I would never have gone if there weren't any because usually what seems too good to be true, is. And there are flaws in our plan.. but you know what? I'm thanking God for them! 

But I cannot take the title of being "brave". Many of my clients, friends and family have labeled me as such. No, my loves... military families are brave. People coming out to the world as they are is brave. Fighting a life threatening disease and still smiling is brave. Sitting up all night at the bedside of a sick child and still comforting them, smiling for them and laughing with them is brave.

I am not brave... I am just a mother with a dream of giving her children the best life possible. <3 Even if that means making sacrifices along the way.

It's tough. It's tough knowing the littles and I will have to spend 40+ days without Zeryk. It's tough knowing I'll have to drive across country without him by my side. It's tough having to pack up our entire lives and get rid of most of the things we've accumulated. It's tough moving so close to Christmas and wondering how the kids will react. It's tough moving away from everything I've ever known. It's tough having to refer clients I've become to love just as much as family, to other photographers because I will not be here to capture their memories any longer. And you know what? I cry. Not just little faint tears but big fat all-out CRY.

Not because I am not happy with our decision because trust me, I am! But because even though knowing this is what we need and want in our lives.. there's still fear of the unknown. There's still desperation.

But my God, what wonders you work from the most desperate of situations!!!

  • Noah spent years building an ark as people mocked him. (Genesis 5:32-10:1)
  • Abraham was called to leave his home and family behind. (Genesis 12:1)
  • Joseph was sold into slavery, framed and thrown in prison only to eventually become leader of Egypt. (Genesis 37:28)
  • Moses stood facing a sea with an army following closely behind him as people trusted his lead. (Exodus 14:21)
  • David took only a stone and slingshot into a fight with Goliath. (1 Samuel 17)
  • Daniel was thrown into a lion's den only to come out alive. (Daniel 6:16)

I trust you, God. I trust you to carry us through even when we are being mocked. I trust you God as you have called us away from our "safe" place. I trust you God as we stand in front of unknown forces. I trust you God as we stand before the giants in our lives. I trust you God as we move into the unknown. You did it for Noah, for Abraham, for Joseph, for Moses, for David, for Daniel.. for many more, oh mighty God and I know you can do it for us! Thank you, Lord for you devotion to our family. Thank you, Lord for the discipline you have taught our family, for learning to trust you as we step out into the waters. Let our eyes not wander away as we take step by step closer to you! As the waves crash around our ankles may we never forget Lord that it is YOU who keeps us afloat. Thank you for your undying, never ending love. Amen!